


Six Months Sideways

by ChampionFlyer



Series: Head Sick [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extreme angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, Keith is (sort of) a mess, Klance- Established Relationship, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance had schizophrenia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Part One to the Head Sick series, Poor Keith, References to Illness, Sad Lance (Voltron), Sick Lance (Voltron), poor lance, references to mental illness, they're gonna be okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 06:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChampionFlyer/pseuds/ChampionFlyer
Summary: Lance has been staying in the extended stay wing of Altea Psychiatric Hospital after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Keith, his loving and supportive boyfriend, comes to visit him everyday no matter the conditions.Although it isn't until Keith has a particularly unsettling flashback of one of Lance's episodes that shakes him into realizing that he too needs help.





	Six Months Sideways

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So this is going to be my next series started on Archive! Basically it's a bunch of stories inside the life of Lance and Keith. Lance is battling schizophrenia and needs a lot of support from his friends and family while he's recovering in rehab. Mind you, I do not have this condition and all of my information came from the internet and google (fuckin trustworthy bastards). But yes, if you have any tips to developing a better character with this condition, please comment! And if you enjoy this, I will be sure to continue with more parts in the future! <3

Keith walked down the dim hallway of the extended care wing of Altea Psychiatric Hospital, counting the door numbers until he found the one he had memorized by heart.

 

_Room #450, Lance McClain._   
_Condition: Schizophrenia_   
_Doctor: Takashi Shirogane_

 

Keith grinned gently as he swiped the entry card and waited for the automatic lock to click before he entered the cold room. He walked in and closed the door softly in case Lance was sleeping. Sure enough, when he turned around he saw the blanket covered lump on the bed move and groan. Lance poked his head out from under the blue quilt Keith’s mom had made for them as a Christmas gag gift years ago. Hair stuck up on all sides of his head as he sleepily peered at Keith through the soft darkness of the room.

 

“Did I wake you up?” Keith asked, trying to conceal his giggles by plastering a smile on his face. He, in all honesty, loved Lance’s bed head. The way his brunette hair bends off his head and sticks up on end makes Keith’s heartache. He used to wake up to that hair every day, but now that Lance is in long term care, Keith can’t exactly sleep with him anymore.

 

It’s been about six months since Lance was emitted to A.P.H. after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and a certain degree of psychosis. Keith knew something was wrong after Lance started going through episodes of pure panic and confusion, always mumbling about different realities and how they were coming. Now, six months later, thanks to medicines and therapies and professional help, Lance should be due to come back home with Keith in the next couple months.

 

Lance groggily sat up, his overly large hospital gown pooling at his waist. “Noooo,” He said, words drenched in sleep as Keith sat on the bed beside him. A tired smile came over Lance’s face as Keith cupped his cheek with his hand and stroked it softly. Lance broke away from the touch to give his boyfriend a proper hug.

 

“Somebody missed me,” Keith whispered as he wrapped his arms around the lanky brunette and pressed a kiss on top of his head.

 

Lance groaned. “You dork. Of course, I _missed_ you,” he grumbled into Keith’s chest, breathing in the scent of cheap laundry detergent and home. He felt the vibration of Keith’s laugh as he pulled the raven-haired man backward onto the bed.

 

“Proper cuddles. I like where your heads at McClain,” Keith said as he laid down next to Lance and pulled him close to his chest. Lance wasted no time easing his face into Keith’s warm neck. He let out a content sigh as their hands found there places around each other. Keith pressed more butterfly kisses on Lance’s head as he closed his eyes.

 

“How was work?” Lance asked, his eyes still closed but remained smiling.

 

Keith made a noise that sounded like a jet engine dying. “Not the greatest but whatever. I’m just happy to be here with you and not surrounded by the assholes I work with.”

 

Lance laughed and picked up his head to press a kiss on Keith’s jaw. Keith’s eyes looked down to find Lance’s tired, love-dazed eyes set upon his own.

 

Keith suddenly remembered to ask Lance about his log. “Was your day okay? Good day? Bad day?”

 

“Definitely a good day. Shiro even said so.”

 

Keith smirked at his boyfriend’s confidence. “Oh yeah? And what made today such a great day?” Keith asked, hoping to hear more about Lance’s day so he could forget about his own.

 

Lance sat up and immediately flopped back down on Keith’s chest, earning a surprised humph from the other. “Well first Shiro and I did a little conversational therapy, which was awesome because we talked about Finding Nemo the whole time. Then Shay stopped by with a new word search book because I had finished the other one.”

 

“Didn’t I just get you one like Saturday?”

 

Lance smirked. “Yeah… and I finished it on Tuesday,” He remarked. “Now, do you want to hear about the rest of today or are you too sleepy?”

 

“I’m never sleepy because I run on Red Bull and adrenaline,” Keith cooed sarcastically. “But yeah, continue.”

 

Lance continued to tell Keith about the service dogs that came in and how the one that sat with him was named Red. He talked about the coffee stain on Shiro’s coat and how he was looking at random paint samples he found at the nurse’s station. Keith could listen to the random chatter all night long. Random chatter was calming on his mind.

 

When he was finished, Lance sighed before cuddling back up at Keith’s side.

 

“Well your day was most definitely more eventful than mine,” Keith lied. Keith had a pretty eventful day but he didn’t exactly want to explain to Lance how some idiot scratched the side of his car and then gave him shit about it. He didn’t want to explain how he spilled half of a cup of coffee on his boss today. He didn’t want to tell Lance about the restless nights of sleep and his terrible eating habits.

 

Because to Keith, these problems were so small compared to what Lance was dealing with. Lance used to never sleep unless it was by force or until he passed out. He used to never eat out of fear that it had been ‘poisoned by _them_ ’. Lance would get so worked up over the small things that he would lock himself where no one could find him.

 

Lance nodded into Keith’s neck. “I’m tired,” He whispered.

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“Don’t you dare wake me up when you go to leave, Kogane.”

 

Keith laughed and pulled Lance closer. “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

At that, Lance promptly grumbled a quick ‘I love you’ before falling once again into a peaceful sleep in Keith’s arms. Keith watched as Lance fell to the defeat of sleep while he himself was still wide awake.

 

Usually, he could fall right asleep next to Lance, even on nights where he had been incapable of shutting his brain off. But tonight everything was right in place yet Keith couldn’t shake the feeling of his mind wandering to some dark places.

 

Keith took a shaky breath in through his nose and blew out his mouth. He closed his eyes, hoping by some miracle sleep would come to drag him away to a world of peace. Or maybe he won’t dream. Maybe his head would just stop, and he would sit there and allow his mind to just remain empty.

 

* * *

  
  
_“They’re coming,” Lance sobbed. “They’re coming they’re coming they’re coming THEY’RE COMING!”_

 

_It’s been hours since Lance locked himself in the bedroom closet. It was clear he was having another episode. It was a bad one too. Keith sat outside the thin wooden doors that divided him from his beloved._

 

_“Lance… love,” Keith cooed worryingly. “No one’s coming. You’re safe.”_

 

_Lance shrieked again, followed by a course of uneven sobs. “You d-don’t understand! They’re already here a-and they’re gonna take us away!”_

 

_Keith was at loss. He’s been at loss since Lance started having these breakdowns. It started small with panic attacks here and there. Keith coached him through them, thinking that it was a stress thing. Though there was a speck of worry sparking in the back of Keith’s conscience._

 

_It wasn’t until Lance began refusing to sleep that the spark of worry grew._

 

_He would lay awake for hours curled against Keith, silent and paranoid. Insomnia was ruled out as a possibility because Lance **didn’t** want to sleep. He would say how if he let his guard down, they would come to get him. Keith didn’t know who ‘they’ were but it was obvious that Lance was terrified of them._

 

_“Lance, you’ve got to breath. You’re hyperventilating,” Keith spoke, trying to keep his voice calm. On the inside, Keith was heartbroken. Seeing Lance like this broke his heart over and over again. These episodes began coming on more and more frequently and they were starting to get fairly severe. Sometimes Lance scratches at his arms until they bleed. Other times he throws up on himself out of nervous panic. In the end, Keith cleans him up and puts him to bed, regardless of whether he wants to sleep or not._

 

_“I… I can’t Keith! They’re going to t-take us a-away and e-experiment on us,” Lance bawled. “We’re gonna die, Keith!”_

 

_Keith sighed, the feeling of hopelessness growing in his chest. Lance isn’t right in the head. He has put off taking him to the doctor after Lance convinced himself that ‘doctor’ was a code word used by them. Again, Keith had no idea who ‘they’ were and it was a little more concerning that Lance couldn’t even explain who they were._

 

_“Lance, I’m gonna reach my hand under the door. If you want, you can hold my hand. But you can’t hurt yourself, okay?”_

 

_Keith reached under the small gap between the door and the ground. He hoped Lance would grab his hand but he didn’t. Keith, nonetheless, didn’t move his hand away. Lance could still be heard crying and incoherently mumbling to himself._

 

_The two sat like that for what felt like forever when Lance finally grasped three Keith’s fingers and held them tightly. Keith could feel a warm, wet substance on Lance’s hand but chose to forget what the possibilities of it being were and assumed it was either tears or saliva. Keith was surprised Lance actually held his hand for a second. Lance had never reached out for his hand during these episodes._

 

_Keith rubbed small circles on the back of his boyfriend’s slim, shaky hand. “Shhh, honey… it’s okay. It’s alright, babe.”_

 

_Lance sobbed again, then coughed, sputtering as if he was being choked. Finally, he gagged and promptly vomited somewhere in the closet. Keith grimaced for a moment but soon forgot about the pure disgust when Lance abruptly let go of his hand._

 

_“M’trapped!” Lance wailed, coughing up another bout of stomach bile. “Let me out! Someone please, help me!”_

 

_Keith stood to his feet quickly and pulled on the door to the closet. Locked._

 

_Keith blew out a frustrated breath, though he wasn’t frustrated at Lance. “Lance? Baby, it’s me, Keith. You’re gonna have to unlock the door for me. You can’t come out if the door is locked.”_

 

_Lance hiccuped, which was quickly followed by a whimper. “Keith?” He said sadly. “You have to hide or else they’ll find you too!”_

 

_“How about we hide together? That way I can protect you,” Keith played along only because nothing else was helping. Lance has been sitting in that closet for five hours, crying hysterically and getting sick all over the place. And Keith couldn’t do a thing about it. He wasn’t prepared to handle episodes like this. He could barely help Lance through panic attacks._

 

_Lance was hesitant on his answer. But when he responded Keith could feel time itself stop._

 

_“Keith... I want to die.”_

 

* * *

 

Keith gasped, feeling air the air inside his lungs disperse, desperately trying to regain the oxygen he’d lost. He knew his mind was headed dark places but it always caught him off guard when he would remember that particular memory.

 

Memory? Flashback? _Nightmare_?

 

It was a living nightmare. His personal hell. That day, Keith remembers his whole world came to a crashing halt. It had slowly been crumbling, then it all just came to a destructive finish.

 

He remembers silently crying as Lance mumbled on and on about dying. Slick, cold tears ran down his cheeks as he choked back all his cries for Lance’s sake. He was barely able to compose himself when Lance finally unlocked the door and allowed Keith to ease him out. Generally confused, as Lance normally was after episodes, he was pretty freaked out by the vomit and blood covering his body.

 

Keith’s expression had stayed blank through the whole thing. The words still echoed in his head.

  
_“I want to die.”_

 

That day Keith remembers cleaning up his boyfriend- replacing his shirt, cleaning his scratches, making him drink water- then sitting with him, Lance’s head rested in his lap. Neither of them had said anything since Lance came out of his frenzy. Keith’s brain had still been trying to process his words.

 

_“I want to die.”_

 

Eventually, Lance had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep. Keith gave his brother, Shiro, a call that night. He explained the sheer terror Lance was constantly in. The agony of being so far from reality. The pain of seeing Lance experience something Keith couldn’t stop. Shiro had told Keith that he would schedule an appointment for the following Monday.

 

Lance had three more episodes between that time.

 

In less than 48 hours, Lance was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe psychosis. He was moved to Altea Psychiatric Hospital and was under Shiro’s care until they could get him “back on his feet”.

 

Keith had known it was for the best. He wasn’t allowed to see Lance until he himself saw a therapist for two weeks, which Keith didn’t agree to lightly. He only really talked to Lance about his problems. Lance had to go for two weeks with less than three “bad days” before he was allowed to be in the same room as Keith. When they finally could see each other, Lance couldn’t touch Keith. His arms to wrapped up in the uncomfortable fabric of his straitjacket. Keith could sit beside him but wasn’t _allowed_ to touch him either.

 

It was so difficult at the beginning. But now things are better.

 

Keith glanced down at his boyfriend’s sleeping form, thankful that his dream was only a pained memory. Lance’s drool dripped onto Keith’s sleeve, soft snores echoing throughout the dark room. Lance always looked more comfortable without a straitjacket on. Anybody just naturally looks more comfortable without a straitjacket.

 

When the air finally made its way to his lungs, Keith shakily pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time.

 

_3:48 am..._ Way over the visiting time.

 

Keith sighed and slowly sat up, careful not to disturb the sleeping Lance that had been resting at his side. He twitched and groaned as Keith managed to get his arm untangled from behind Lance’s neck but quickly returned to his relaxed slumber. Keith swung his legs over the side of the low-sitting bed and stood up. He turned around to press a chaste kiss upon Lance’s head before heading out of the room.

 

Keith walked down the halls as silently as he could, his brain tearing itself apart. His phone was clutched in his hand, knuckles turning a pale shade of white as he tried to keep his mind at bay.

 

He needed to take Shiro’s advice. He needed to talk to someone. Someone who could help him with the terrible eating habits and restless nights of sleep. Someone who he could explain his nightmares to and let his walls fall and shatter on the broken ground.

 

Keith needed a therapist.

 

He couldn’t keep up the tough guy act forever. He needed just to breakdown and build up until he himself could feel there was still hope in the situation. Keith needed just as much consoling as Lance did.

 

They’d be okay.

 

“We’re going to be okay,” Keith repeated to himself. “We’re gonna be fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Kudos! <3  
> Don't read and run!   
> Be nice in the comments (cuz im always watching...)


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